JOKE ITEMIZED COSTS

Multiply each category by the number of jokes you like / year
(e.g. If you like 75% of our 300+ daily jokes, then multiply by 225)

1.  For each joke which cause a smile     
    Number of Jokes you like = _____ x $.05 / joke = _________
    

2. New Friends Gained
   Now that you know all the jokes, you are the     
   life of the party. But you canıt value friendship,
   you say, Guess again.  
   New Number of Friends =  ______ x $.02 / joke   = _________

3.  A.  New Girlfriend / Boyfriend you met
    by exchanging jokes you got from us
    If one                             $.10 / joke = _________      
   
    B.  If more than one, then you really owe us big time
    Multiply the number x .10, add one and take it to the
    nth power, where n = number of 
    new girlfriends or boyfriends  
                             $(1+(n x.10)^n / joke  = _________
    
    C.  New Spouse. (Hopefully only one here)  
                                       $1.00 / joke = _________
  
4.  Stress Reduction               
    If you laugh everyday, you will be healthier        
    and have lower medical bills     $  .02 / joke  = _________

5.  Improved Work through Stress Reduction.
    Here, your company has to pay - since we
    help lower stress in the workplace, 
    build camaraderie, and our jokes are
    one of the main reasons that people show
    up in the office everyday           $.10 / jokes = _________ 
    According to the IRS Humor department, 
    (what an oxymoron) this is tax deductible
                                                           
   Note: According to the International Monetary Fund
   Joke-Of-The-Day is directly responsible
   for 1.4% of the worldsı Gross National Product

   TOTAL TO BE ADDED PER JOKE                         = _________ 




COST DEDUCTIONS

Now multiply the following by the number of jokes you didn't 
like on an annual basis or times whatever criteria is listed.
These are your deductions to account for any pain and suffering
we have caused or discounts for being a good jokester.

1.  Reduction for jokes that make you groan - $.01/joke  = _________ 

2.  Abused by your boss                     - $.02/joke  = _________ 
    OK, so some bosses just donıt get humor
    (If they donıt, please have them see the 
    Work improvement section above)

3.  Lost a girlfriend/boyfriend              - $.05/joke  = _________ 
    because you spent too much time reading jokes

4.  Lost a Spouse                            - $.25/joke  = _________ 
    (You should have read our disclaimer that jokes 
    are addictive)

5.  If you have submitted joke to us,  
                       - $.01 x number of submitted jokes  = _________ 

6.  If you have submitted 
    OUR own joke back to us Here, ADD back $.25 / joke     = _________ 

7.  If we have run your joke - $5.00 x number 
    of jokes run                                           = _________ 

8.  You spend the entire night reading our archives
    and miss the next day of school or work.  - $.02/joke  = _________

9. Bonus for each joke you forward to
   at least 10 friends and family.  - $.02/joke forwarded  = _________ 

10. Teachers find you reading jokes in class $.01/joke     = _________ 
    The Joke is about the teacher            $.03/joke     = _________

TOTAL TO BE SUBTRACTED                                     = _________ 

TOTAL DUE = Itemized Costs - Itemized Deductions


PAYMENT

For those of you who are low on your deposit with us, 
Please submit a retainer for US $5,000.00 payable in Dollars 
(All varieties), Marks, Francs, Yen, Shekels, Peso, Gold bars, 
Microsoft or Intel Stock. (Sorry No Apple stock accepted.) 
For Indonesian, Malaysian, Korean and Thai currencies, 
please submit an additional 50% of the above to cover the 
estimated devaluation during the 2 day bank wire period.

Funds should be transferred directly to one of our accounts in
Grand Cayman, Belize, The British Virgin Islands or Guernsey
(Itıs amazing at the correlation of good banking centers to great 
 SCUBA diving, isnıt it - Weıll skip scuba diving in the Channel)

NOTE:  
Payment can only be made one day a year - on April 1st - APRIL FOOLS