A 60 year old women came home one day and heard strange noises in her
 bedroom.  She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter
 playing with a vibrator.  "What are you doing" asked the mother.

 "Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me.  I'm ugly. I'll never get
 married so this is pretty much my husband."  The mother walked out of
 the room shaking her head.

 The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom.
 Upon entering the room, he found his daughter using the vibrator.
 "What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

 His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I 'm 40 years old, and look
 at me.  I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is as close as I'll
 get to a husband."  The father walked out of the room shaking his
 head.

 The next day, the mother came home and found her husband with a beer
 in one hand and the vibrator in the other watching the football game
 on TV.  "What on earth are you doing/" she cried.

 The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing,  I'm having a
 beer and watching the football with my son-in-law!!"