Special High Intensity Training (2-36) Date: Friday, February
28, 1997 10:31AM

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all
employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees
more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of
S.H.I.T.  on the job, please see your manager.  You
will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled
at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T., you can
handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed
in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P
S.H.I.T.).  Those who fail to take D.E.E.P
S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE
ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our managers
took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't
have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in
a job training others.  We can add your name to our
BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.  S.H.I.T.).
Those who are full of B.U.L.L.  S.H.I.T. will get the
S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR
OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to
our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)