General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know
how to drive, because people don't buy cars the way they buy computers-
but imagine if they did...

  HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
  CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"
  HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"
  CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"
  HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"
  CUSTOMER: "I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal 
             all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then
             it crashed -- and now it won't even start up!"
  HELPLINE: "I'm sorry, sir, but it's your responsibility if you 
             misuse the product."
  CUSTOMER: "Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of      
             yours. It said to make the car go to put the transmission
             in 'D' and press the accelerator pedal. That's exactly what 
             I did --now the damn thing's crashed."
  HELPLINE: "Did you read the entire operator's manual before operating 
             the car sir?"
  CUSTOMER: "What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the 
             manual said and it didn't work!"
  HELPLINE: "Didn't you attempt to slow down so you wouldn't crash?"
  CUSTOMER: "How do you do THAT?"
  HELPLINE: "You said you read the entire manual, sir. It's on page 14. 
             The pedal next to the accelerator."
  CUSTOMER: "Well, I don't have all day to sit around and read 
             this manual you know."
  HELPLINE: "Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?"
  CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that 
             goes       fast and won't crash anymore!"